My response to this stalemate is “why add fuel to the fire?” Most divorces are high conflict, hence the reason to separate. Interpersonal conflict triggers our fight or flight instincts which worked well for us when sabre tooth tigers where roaming the land, however, in non-life threatening situations that same instinct can mislead us. Before you lawyer up and begin bombarding each other with scathing and demanding letters, take a breath, step back, and ask yourself “do I want the future to be better than the past?”
If your response is “yes, I want to stop fighting and improve my life,” then do some research and consider your options. Have a look at Mediation, using lawyer AKA collaborative law and litigation. Informed people make better decisions.
If your response is “no, I want to settle the score, make the other person pay or exact revenge,” I suggest you consider how much time (at least 18 months to several years) and money (at least ALL of your savings) you want to spend. In the end you will both receive 50% of the left-overs be that assets or debts.
The choice is yours.
Life is Messy. Mediation can Help. Contact me to discuss your options.